Of Love, Nature, and Erich Fromm | How We Learn to Truly Love

Love is more than a feeling – it is a practice of relating to ourselves, to others, and to the living world. Inspired by Erich Fromm’s understanding of love as an art, this reflection explores how nature connection, biophilia, and systemic nature therapy can teach us to truly love in embodied and tangible ways.

As a systemic nature‑based therapist, retreat facilitator, and the founder of Kailo Nature Therapy, I walk with people into forests, deserts, and along the sea, not just to rest, but to remember how to love. My work sits at the intersection of systemic therapy, embodied practice, and ecological awareness, and it has led me again and again to the same question:

How do we learn to love – truly – when the world feels so fragmented?

In the quiet of the woods, on the edge of the ocean, or in the stillness of a retreat, this question becomes more than philosophical. It becomes practical: How do we love ourselves, each other, and the living world in a way that is not romantic, but real, not abstract, but embodied and tangible?

In our world today, many people feel a deep longing for real connection

In our fast‑paced, digitalized world, many people feel overwhelmed, lonely, or inwardly estranged – not only from one another, but also from nature and from themselves. We long for connection not just to other people, but also to our own bodies, to the living, animate world, and to a meaningful life that feels truly alive.

In my work these longings meet a very simple container: paying attention. When we slow down, step into natural landscapes, and turn our attention inward, we create space for something deeper than distraction or performance. It is in this space that we can begin to practice love in the way Erich Fromm describes it – as a learned, embodied art, rather than a fleeting feeling.

Love according to Erich Fromm – an active practice

In The Art of Loving (1956), Erich Fromm describes love not as a random product of hormones or romantic entanglements, but as an art we can learn and practice – and through which we grow. For Fromm, this art applies not only to relationships between humans, but to how we relate to the living world around us.

He describes love as an attitude that grows out of four interconnected elements:

• Care – an active wish for the growth and well‑being of what we love,

• Responsibility – the willingness to respond to the needs and vulnerability of the other,

• Respect – seeing the other as an autonomous being, not an object of our desire,

• Knowledge & Understanding – the willingness to truly know the other, including their shadows and contradictions.

In the context of my work, this shows up in how we work with relationships:

• Connections become more conscious when we learn to perceive ourselves clearly and set clear boundaries. This also means turning toward our own rhythms instead of disconnecting from the body. In relation to nature, it means learning to listen to what the land, the weather, or the season ask of us.

  
  

• Closeness emerges when we show up courageously, instead of hiding or trying to appear perfect. In our relationship with nature, this means entering landscapes, plants, and weather without performance, allowing ourselves to be seen in our vulnerability and to be moved by the wildness of the living world.

• Love becomes tangible through small, repeated choices: acts of care, listening, and honesty. With nature, this takes the form of daily gestures of attention: noticing, protecting, and tending, as well as leaving space where human intervention is not the first answer.

For many today, love is still associated with romance, passion, or security. Fromm invites us to see something else: genuine love means growing into ourselves, acknowledging our limits, standing in clarity, and yet remaining open and close to others.

In systemic nature therapy and in my nature‑based retreats, this is exactly what becomes visible: vulnerability without the loss of freedom, and love that is practiced both between people and with the living world.

Biophilia – love for the living

The term “biophilia” comes from Erich Fromm and has been further developed by biophilosophers such as Andreas Weber. Biophilia means a passionate love for life and for the whole – not only for individual people, but also for plants, animals, landscapes, ecosystems, and for our own bodily, embodied nature.

When I’m outdoors this experience becomes tangible. When walking through the forest, by the sea, or into the desert, we feel how we are part of a larger whole. Nature does not demand performance or perfection; it asks only for attention. When we look, hear, and feel, we enter a moment of deep connection that grounds us and at the same time expands our sense of belonging.

Biophilia is not an abstract concept; it is a practice. In these spaces, we slowly remember that our own aliveness is mirrored in the wind, in the trees, in the waves, and in the silence between us. This is where the “living world” is not just a metaphor, but a palpable, animate reality we walk with.

Love Practice – a small exercise for you

Here are a few inspired invitations:

• Nature encounter as a love practice: Go into nature intentionally – without a phone, just you, simply with attention. Notice how the natural world affects you, and express words of thanks or care, either internally or aloud, or find any small gesture that feels true to you.

• Love Journal: Write down what you appreciate in yourself and in your relationships – as well as what you still want to learn. Fromm’s point remains clear: love is an art, and art is practiced.

These small steps may seem simple, but they create openings. In them, we slowly translate Fromm’s philosophy into bodily, sensory, and relational reality.

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Connect with your outer and inner nature at one of my events and retreats or dive deeper in a 1:1 guidance.