Thoughts on this spring
When I look back now it’s clear to me … At the end of march when I started to purposefully sense into the season of spring I was thinking of this burst of energy and the happiness and all that is connected to it. All the positivity spreading poems and songs and this general notion of spring that is out there.
When I felt into myself I rather felt irritated, grumpy and impatient. I couldn’t connect to any of the above mentioned so obvious qualities of spring. The weather was cold and not spring like at all here in Berlin. I felt trapped in the city between grey urban structures and not much green and flowers. I was confused.
I wrote this elevenie (a poem with a given pattern of 1 word, then 2, then 3, then 4, then 1) as part of the spring exploration practice I’m guiding together with Primitivkollektiv.
I feel impatient
shouldn’t I be happy
The problem is that back then in March I started sensing into the season with my thinking mind - not just sensing the new season with my body and without judging. That’s where this gap came from. The more I moved from my mind to my body, from thinking to observing and being - the more I was able to surrender to what is. Surrendering - a great reminder for so many parts of our lifes.
A time of transition
I also started to think about April as a month of transition between the seasons. From winter and all that was - to spring, a season with so much potential energy. Very few of us are comfortable with transition as it means leaving behind what is known to us, even if that known is no longer what we want, and moving into something unknown, even though this holds all of our current intentions and desires.
Let yourself be surprised by each season again and again, each year. Every spring might feel a bit different. Sometimes it also needs some kind of chaos before a sense of clarity reorganizes the movement in the right direction. Let yourself be led by what you feel rather than what your mind tells you what you should be feeling or doing.
How did you experience spring so far? What did you sense and feel? What showed itself?